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    Post by Rave Fri Nov 14, 2008 5:26 pm

    I found this on the best of Craig's List....It's pretty graphic so I substituted "Banana and Doughnut" for a few select words to keep it relatively "R" rated instead of "X".

    Girl seeking WoW player - w4m


    Date: 2008-10-14, 11:01AM PDT


    Do you like to PvP in the World of Warcraft? Do you want to have sex with a girl playing arena in the eighteen-hundreds bracket? Do you want to have sex with me WHILE I play arena? Continue reading..


    I will be playing my druid.. she is in full Season 3 and some Season 4. I play with another female player on her warrior, but she is not going to physically join us.. she will be on vent or skype listening in, but mostly her purpose will be to keep the game going smoothly by letting me know what is happening so I don't have to pay much attention.

    You must be ok with "doughnut" and "doughnut hole" penetration, as well as eating "lots of doughnuts", and you must be able to finish on me twice within one hour.

    But more importantly, you must be familiar with the game. You should be not only yelling things like, "Your "doughtnut" feels so good on my "banana" but also pay some attention to my arena game(s). And be loud. Remember, I'll have my headset on to talk to my partner. "Root him!", "Cyclone so I can pull out and "banana your Doughnut hole" and so on. You must be kinky, naughty, and very horny. I will be quizzing you, so if you are not sure about your stuff, please do not respond.

    What you have to do/have in order for me to consider you:

    - You must have at least one level 70 in equivalent gear, maybe we can chat about it.
    - You cannot be overweight, but also not the muscle jock body type with a brain the size of a pea. Chubby is BEST!
    - You must be able to spell.
    - You must be at least 20 years old and no older than 29.
    - At least 5'10".
    - No blondies.
    - Dark hair, dark eyes
    - Prefer uncut, but you must be clean. Circumsized will be considered, but not preferred.

    About me:

    - I am 5'8"
    - 150lbs
    - Blue eyes and brown hair.
    - I know a lot about video games.
    - I want to #$@% you while I play arena if you fulfill the above requirements. - I am very tight.. I have not had sex in about 8 months.


    Anywho...thought that was kinda funny, thought I'd share.



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    Post by Alanras Fri Nov 14, 2008 5:37 pm

    LOL, dang people have some odd fantasies.
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    Post by Annewing Fri Nov 14, 2008 5:38 pm

    OMG!! That's hilarious! Thanks for posting it. Laughing
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    Post by Ulfaro Fri Nov 14, 2008 5:46 pm

    "doughnut" and "doughnut hole" How many holes are we talking about here?
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    Post by Rave Fri Nov 14, 2008 5:57 pm

    I'll leave that up to your imagination. I'm not here to judge.


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    Post by Lorahand Fri Nov 14, 2008 5:59 pm

    Did you get the email addy for that person Twisted Evil
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    Post by Averna Fri Nov 14, 2008 6:01 pm

    Ulfaro wrote:"doughnut" and "doughnut hole" How many holes are we talking about here?

    Yeah, use your imagination but http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/all/ has the original posting. And many others. I like the one requesting someone to pretend to be an animatronic dinosaur from Jurassic Park for sexual purposes. Hehe.
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    Post by Andway Fri Nov 14, 2008 7:09 pm

    5'8 and 150lbs? No wonder she hasn't had sex in 8 months.
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    Post by Lorahand Fri Nov 14, 2008 7:16 pm

    Andway wrote:5'8 and 150lbs? No wonder she hasn't had sex in 8 months.

    Wow thats harsh lol!
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    Post by Zee Fri Nov 14, 2008 7:43 pm

    Ulfaro wrote:"doughnut" and "doughnut hole" How many holes are we talking about here?
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    Post by Zular Fri Nov 14, 2008 8:19 pm

    Averna wrote:Yeah, use your imagination but http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/all/ has the original posting. And many others. I like the one requesting someone to pretend to be an animatronic dinosaur from Jurassic Park for sexual purposes. Hehe.
    Gee, thanks for the link. There goes the rest of my night... Smile
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    Post by Averna Fri Nov 14, 2008 9:37 pm

    Zular wrote:
    Averna wrote:Yeah, use your imagination but http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/all/ has the original posting. And many others. I like the one requesting someone to pretend to be an animatronic dinosaur from Jurassic Park for sexual purposes. Hehe.
    Gee, thanks for the link. There goes the rest of my night... Smile

    The Super Mario Brothers one is good too. Clearly, I'm wasting just as much time reading these as you are. The creativity of some people really impresses me, lol.
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    Post by Breygon Fri Nov 14, 2008 10:07 pm

    I am sure the ladies will get a snicker out of the ad looking to "adopt out" her husband. My favorite was the codegirl ad.

    I wonder if she is willing to relocate....


    Last edited by Breygon on Sat Nov 15, 2008 9:00 pm; edited 2 times in total (Reason for editing : fixed grammatical and spelling error)
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    Post by Balamac Fri Nov 14, 2008 10:47 pm

    mmm... timbits.

    lol anywho yeah, some people have rather, err... odd fantasies Razz
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    Post by RiVenoX Sat Nov 15, 2008 2:32 am

    Allstar Dota player seeking like minded female for hot scourge on sentinel action.

    Can you sit for prolonged periods of time on my lap being super hot while I pwn n00bs?

    Are you as PHAT as leviathan stacked full of HoTs?

    Are you level 18 or higher ?

    Then you may have what it takes to be my Crystal Maiden

    Reply with a pic... and I will do the same.

    Please no IRL fat messes.. I live an active lifestyle both in and out of the game.

    I'm a super nice guy, I don't gank on the first game, and I'll never try to gank you from behind.

    I'm in it for the long run, and will never leave a game before it's over.





    Yours Truly.

    Dota Ghost



    P.S. I'm super serious about the level 18 stuff. I don't want to goto jail because I ganked a n00b.

    http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/min/871261351.html
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    Post by Suzume Mon Nov 17, 2008 4:31 pm

    rofl
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    Post by Ghoulie Mon Nov 17, 2008 7:24 pm

    Andway wrote:5'8 and 150lbs? No wonder she hasn't had sex in 8 months.

    5'8" and 150lbs gives you a BMI of 23ish. Normal weight is supposedly between 18-25: http://www.consumer.gov/weightloss/bmi.htm (I'm just confused by your statement).

    Also, when I first read through the Craigslist post, I didn't realize doughnut was a substituted word. Hilarous post lol.
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    Post by Breygon Mon Nov 17, 2008 8:36 pm

    I don't buy the BMI. I am 6'1 and 240. According to the calculators, I am "obese". I am anything but obese. By those same standards some of the pro football players are also "obese". Yeah right.
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    Post by Averna Mon Nov 17, 2008 8:53 pm

    Breygon wrote:I don't buy the BMI. I am 6'1 and 240. According to the calculators, I am "obese". I am anything but obese. By those same standards some of the pro football players are also "obese". Yeah right.

    Yeah, the problem is that the BMI doesn't take muscle vs. fat into account. As I'm in the process of getting into better shape, I'm probably gaining weight since I'm actually getting some muscles back.
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    Post by Nomad Mon Nov 17, 2008 8:58 pm

    Averna wrote:
    Breygon wrote:I don't buy the BMI. I am 6'1 and 240. According to the calculators, I am "obese". I am anything but obese. By those same standards some of the pro football players are also "obese". Yeah right.

    Yeah, the problem is that the BMI doesn't take muscle vs. fat into account. As I'm in the process of getting into better shape, I'm probably gaining weight since I'm actually getting some muscles back.

    now dont be selfish, take some pics in a skimpy bikini so we can compare to Nitenymphs WE in full oober armor. Oh, dont forget to smile Smile
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    Post by Averna Mon Nov 17, 2008 9:09 pm

    Nomad wrote:
    Averna wrote:
    Breygon wrote:I don't buy the BMI. I am 6'1 and 240. According to the calculators, I am "obese". I am anything but obese. By those same standards some of the pro football players are also "obese". Yeah right.

    Yeah, the problem is that the BMI doesn't take muscle vs. fat into account. As I'm in the process of getting into better shape, I'm probably gaining weight since I'm actually getting some muscles back.

    now dont be selfish, take some pics in a skimpy bikini so we can compare to Nitenymphs WE in full oober armor. Oh, dont forget to smile Smile

    Note: I said "some muscles". This is coming from zero muscles and everything covered in a layer of flab. Granted, I've still never weighed more than 125 pounds, but I'm quite petite and currently about as out of shape as ever. So, no bikinis. Not for awhile. Maybe some day Smile
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    Zular
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    Master of a Thousand Destinies


    Male
    Number of posts : 272
    Age : 38
    WARNING!!! ADULT IN NATURE (not to mention weird) Flag_a14

    Hammerfist games : WAR!
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    Registration date : 2008-08-25

    Mood Embarrassed Re: WARNING!!! ADULT IN NATURE (not to mention weird)

    Post by Zular Mon Nov 17, 2008 10:58 pm

    Baby Bird - w4m


    Date: 2008-09-17, 8:48PM CDT


    I'm fed up with watersports and feel Constrained by traditional dominant- submissive roles? I want to try a more nurturing role: feed me like a baby pelican! Both sexes welcome, males preferred. I will supply the raw herring and you bring the big strap-on beak. No weirdos.


    • Location: Your House
    • it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

    PostingID: 845075963

    No weirdos.

    This one made me crack up for about 15 minutes solid.
    Evadrepus
    Evadrepus
    Extensive Poster
    Extensive Poster


    Male
    Number of posts : 218
    Age : 51
    Location : Probably lost
    WARNING!!! ADULT IN NATURE (not to mention weird) Flag_a14

    Hammerfist games : LoTRO
    Exerience Points : 143108
    Registration date : 2008-09-14


    Character sheet
    Forum Class: Wort
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    WARNING!!! ADULT IN NATURE (not to mention weird) Left_bar_bleue137/200WARNING!!! ADULT IN NATURE (not to mention weird) Empty_bar_bleue  (137/200)
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    Mood Embarrassed Re: WARNING!!! ADULT IN NATURE (not to mention weird)

    Post by Evadrepus Tue Nov 18, 2008 8:50 am

    I'm very glad I'm not the only one who both read that one and laughed like a maniac after reading it. No wierdos, indeed.

    I'm not even going to try getting there from work, but there was one with a guy specifically looking for a skinny asian girl, with very restrictive needs, and describes himself as built ok..then the picture...oh my. I call myself chubby (mostly to make me follow a diet) but I've got nothing on him.
    Averna
    Averna
    Forum Camper Elite
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    Female
    Number of posts : 381
    Age : 40
    Location : Lawrence, KS
    WARNING!!! ADULT IN NATURE (not to mention weird) Flag_a14
    <img src="https://2img.net/h/i24.photobucket.com/albums/c13/mikkhammerfist/AoC%20Medals/Commentator.jpg" TITLE="Frequent Commentator"> <img src="https://2img.net/h/i24.photobucket.com/albums/c13/mikkhammerfist/AoC%20Medals/Forum-Camper.jpg" TITLE="Forum Camper"> <img src="https://2img.net/h/i24.photobucket.com/albums/c13/mikkhammerfist/AoC%20Medals/elder.jpg" TITLE="4 months or more as a member"><img src="http://www.pixaloop.com/images/pillager.jpg" TITLE="Pillager - earned booty pillaging! [Ikariam]">
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    Mood Embarrassed Re: WARNING!!! ADULT IN NATURE (not to mention weird)

    Post by Averna Tue Nov 18, 2008 9:18 am

    Evadrepus wrote:I'm very glad I'm not the only one who both read that one and laughed like a maniac after reading it. No wierdos, indeed.

    I'm not even going to try getting there from work, but there was one with a guy specifically looking for a skinny asian girl, with very restrictive needs, and describes himself as built ok..then the picture...oh my. I call myself chubby (mostly to make me follow a diet) but I've got nothing on him.

    I remember that one--hilarious!
    Rave
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    Female
    Number of posts : 202
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    Location : Sherwood, Oregon
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    Mood Embarrassed Re: WARNING!!! ADULT IN NATURE (not to mention weird)

    Post by Rave Wed Nov 19, 2008 12:18 am

    Best of Craig's list for the Win!!!! The give away for the "mean, saggy titted cur" is pretty funny too. Or maybe my sense of humor is just not right. (given) bootyshake



    Rayve (aka Spudd)

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    Mood Embarrassed Re: WARNING!!! ADULT IN NATURE (not to mention weird)

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