So we've got a lot of parents...

Which, of course, means we need to start a long running thread where we can brag about our childrens exploits, share their funny sayings, post the pictures of them falling asleep in their mashed potatoes and the like!

I'll start since I'm extremely proud of my children, self-centered, and I made the topic! LOL

Yesterday, my youngest (Alex, age 2) discovered that putting maccarroni and cheese in the microwave oven for an unknown amount of time, will eventually cause it to burst into flame. My house still stinks.

My daughter, Sammie, was dubbed, by my former boss, Ash (Now Sylvanna) as Lady Vader when she was 18 mos old because she could mimic the Vader breathing perfectly. Yes, I brought my kids up well!


Oh and my favorite tht I want to see more of from the parents...what funny words/phrases did your kids have for things?

Joshie my second eldest ( has the record for most funny words. Coozbuzz (because) "Full of hands!" (when his hands were full and he couldn't open the door LOL) and he called pop, soda, coke, whatever, "Popbeer!"

Ahh yes, I love this stuff...so c'mon, share with us!

Yesterday, my youngest (Alex, age 2) discovered that putting maccarroni and cheese in the microwave oven for an unknown amount of time, will eventually cause it to burst into flame. My house still stinks.

awesome.

Well... so many exploits/stories, but I'll share a favorite of mine.

I had recently returned home from a 3 month deployment (good thing about being on SSBN submarines, they tend to only be gone for about 3 months at a time), so there I am trying to watch what I say (a sailor's vocabulary becomes quite colorful after a few weeks out at sea...) and getting adjusted to home life. On board the sub, I routinely (not always though due to not enough time) would eat in the Wardroom (Officer's eating area) and they have a set of 'rules' (mostly etiquette based) on how things are done. One of these is that when one is done eating the course, they put the fork on the plate, prong side down (or for soup, spoon in the bowl, 'upside down', or concave down). So I didnt even think about it when I was done eating, I put my fork on my plate, prongs down. My daughter, who was about 10 at the time, saw that and asked me about it. I told her that I was used to putting my fork down to let the stewards know that I was done. She grabs her fork in a fisted hand and says "So, you hold your fork when you're dumb?" We got a kick out of it, and after laughing, I said "Yes, Court, that's right" And for the longest time, anytime she would do something silly (dumb) we would tell her to go ger her fork...

OK, it might have been one of those 'you had to be there' moments... It does go to show that they definitely don't hear what we're saying at times!

Rhodar wrote:Well... so many exploits/stories, but I'll share a favorite of mine.

I had recently returned home from a 3 month deployment (good thing about being on SSBN submarines, they tend to only be gone for about 3 months at a time), so there I am trying to watch what I say (a sailor's vocabulary becomes quite colorful after a few weeks out at sea...) and getting adjusted to home life. On board the sub, I routinely (not always though due to not enough time) would eat in the Wardroom (Officer's eating area) and they have a set of 'rules' (mostly etiquette based) on how things are done. One of these is that when one is done eating the course, they put the fork on the plate, prong side down (or for soup, spoon in the bowl, 'upside down', or concave down). So I didnt even think about it when I was done eating, I put my fork on my plate, prongs down. My daughter, who was about 10 at the time, saw that and asked me about it. I told her that I was used to putting my fork down to let the stewards know that I was done. She grabs her fork in a fisted hand and says "So, you hold your fork when you're dumb?" We got a kick out of it, and after laughing, I said "Yes, Court, that's right" And for the longest time, anytime she would do something silly (dumb) we would tell her to go ger her fork...

OK, it might have been one of those 'you had to be there' moments... It does go to show that they definitely don't hear what we're saying at times!

Well it might have been a "you had to be there moment" as far as the humor is concerned, but that's a real nice story, and I'm sure it's one you'll remember for years to come. Consider yourself a lucky man mate.

Rhodar wrote:
OK, it might have been one of those 'you had to be there' moments... It does go to show that they definitely don't hear what we're saying at times!

I laughed! I think ya gotta be a parent to appreciate these kinds of stories!

Last night my wife, after a long, stressful day of screaming kids (Yes, I know it was Mother's Day, but explain to them they are supposed to act differently.) she burst out in the van on the way to the restaraunt, "Would you all just shut the hell up!"

*crickets*

"Mommy...oo don say hehwl," Alex reprimanded her.

[quote="Collosia"]

Rhodar wrote:
"Mommy...oo don say hehwl," Alex reprimanded her.

I pictured Ike from South Park saying that in my head as I read it lol.

i have a 4 year old a 2 year old anda 4 month old.

one of my constant past times over the last year or so was tending to the little one (2 year old) as the big one "accidently" bumped into him or knocked him down etc etc. I kept tell him, one day hes gonna grow up and remember everything you did and get you back for it.

well


about a month ago the oldest one was a sleep and the 2 year old was awake (with my gaming habits and my wife working nights we are up all hours) and i saw him slowly creep up on his big brother. He got this cute little look on his face as he looked at me and went "raaaaaawwrrrrrrrr" and tackled the sleeping big brother.

good times

Your all very lucky, my wife and I were not blessed with children so we spoil the shit out of our pets. Currently a 10 lbs terrier poddle mix that is totally fearless. I thank god he is not 100 lbs I could not control him. He eats what we eat, sleeps in the bed with us and generally runs the household.

Best of all he will never ask me for money, bring home the wrong woman/guy, make me pay for college or a wedding.

So he craps on the rug every now and then, you would too if you were left alone all day...wait I'm alone right now...oh hell I just crapped on the rug ....I hate when that happens.

Hector wrote:Your all very lucky, my wife and I were not blessed with children so we spoil the shit out of our pets. Currently a 10 lbs terrier poddle mix that is totally fearless. I thank god he is not 100 lbs I could not control him. He eats what we eat, sleeps in the bed with us and generally runs the household.

Best of all he will never ask me for money, bring home the wrong woman/guy, make me pay for college or a wedding.

So he craps on the rug every now and then, you would too if you were left alone all day...wait I'm alone right now...oh hell I just crapped on the rug ....I hate when that happens.

OK, so after I was done laughing, I thought of the 'bring home the wrong woman/guy' comment, and found that not so funny... My 13 year old daughter is 'going on 18'... and my 17 year old son is... well hell, he's only a year younger than when I got married, and only 3 years younger than I was when I became a Dad... NOT FUNNY!

Oh, and to the 'he'll remember all the things you did'... Well, I keep telling that to my 13 year old daughter, who gives my 10 year old son a hell of a time (most of the time), but add, "he's going to be bigger than you one day..." Ahhh, you know what? Perhaps I won't have to worry about my 13 year old bringing home the wrong guy after all, my 10 year old will most likely be scheming up some good stuff to ensure that never happens!

Rhodar wrote:Oh, and to the 'he'll remember all the things you did'... Well, I keep telling that to my 13 year old daughter, who gives my 10 year old son a hell of a time (most of the time), but add, "he's going to be bigger than you one day..." Ahhh, you know what? Perhaps I won't have to worry about my 13 year old bringing home the wrong guy after all, my 10 year old will most likely be scheming up some goods stuff to ensure that never happens!

I hope when I have a second child, its a boy, and I'll be in the same situation as you with my daughter. Shes only 8 months... so I guess I have time to plan the anti-boyfriend tactics. =)

I plan on using my older son too... I can pay him to intimidate any prospective candidates, should they get past my younger son's antics...

My kids...

Well I have a 10 year old daughter going on 16 I swear.. She has my temper and attitude which is not very good as a child.. Drill Sargent would be a better fit.
My son as some of you know is in the guild also. He is just finishing up high school and is the most laid back easy going kid ever. When he was born we thought "Wow, this is not so bad." He slept 8 hours from day one from the hospital. He threw all of (1) temper tantrum, once he realized that the wife and I were laughing at him he has not thrown one since. My daughter did not sleep for the first 2 years I think. Son plays football and has great hands and my daughter has the gift for theater. She can memorize lines in record time and has no fear on stage. Both are great students..

Now to Gargoyles fear.. We actually have a book that we keep for when they have said things that strike us funny.. For example..
The kids were playing HORSE.. and my Daughter response to when I asked who was winning was "I am.. I am a HO and she is a HOR" no she did not spell it out, she sounded it out.. I spit soda threw the nose and ran to record that in the book. When my son was very young he saw a Frog on a building like Frogs Gym or something and he said Frog.. But he had a very strange speech inflection and it sounded like F**k. We about had a heart attack and he saw the look on our face and decided that was his new favorite word and said it ALL THE TIME.. we had to explain it over and over to people. Looking back on it was very funny.

My son Gargoyle.. I think his shinning moment I can think of is either when he bent over to pick up his clothes on the floor when he was around 4.. Farted and then shit on the floor.. or maybe it was when he decided to take of the diaper and finger paint the walls.. Oh it could be the day he thought he could jump from the Electric box outside to the green phone box, missed and ended up in the emergency room with an ice pack on his twigg and berries.. yes it dropped and I should have grand kids some day. (Not to soon! You hear me kiddo.. Wrap that Willy before you get Silly)


Seriously I am very proud of the kids and wonder how the hell the wife I did this.. They are both great, well adjusted, and comfortable speaking with anyone. Other than the 2 years in prison

We both knew we wanted kids and never looked back.

We headed the words of friends....

1 - you have them them outnumbered
2 - it's even odds
>3 - you don't stand a chance...

We stuck with one. He's six now and much like Lorddrow, we record for prosperity. On his wedding day he will have literature, movies, and an epic mini series to watch.

Rhuu wrote: Shes only 8 months... so I guess I have time to plan the anti-boyfriend tactics. =)

Sammie is only four and I have one of three scenarios planned for when she brings home a boy for the first time.

1) I will let my wife answer the door. I will be calmly sitting at the coffee table in the living room, in full view of the front door. I will be taking apart/cleaning the old bolt action .22 I got from my grandfather. It says "I know my way around a gun. I will not hesitate to use this on you."

-or-

2) I put on my best bib overalls. Lose the shirt and skip shaving for a few days before he comes over. Don my best backwoods accent, and when the doorbell rings, grab him in a bearhug, swing him around while hootin' and hollerin' "Welcome to tha' famleee boy! HOOoooooweeeee! Yehaw!"

-or-

3) Find and purchase a large caliber bullet. Large and shiney enough to make a necklace that stands out on any shirt. And large enough to write the name of the offendi...er I mean the young man on it's casing. And turned so he can see his name on the bullet.

lorddrow wrote:My son Gargoyle.. I think his shinning moment I can think of is either when he bent over to pick up his clothes on the floor when he was around 4.. Farted and then shit on the floor.. or maybe it was when he decided to take of the diaper and finger paint the walls..

Your son is not allowed in any buildings in the guild's keep unless you promise to clean up after him! LOL

Well I still have a long way to go on things that my child does and do, he will be 2 next month. And sometimes I wonder where he gets some of the stuff he says.

About a month ago, I was laying in the floor, note this is a mistake with a smile child, he comes running in and jobs on my back. And says "My bitch." now I am in total shock that he said this, because, neither my wife nor I cuss around him, (ok I try not, wife does not at all) I get up and look at him and say what did you say??? And I heard "My bitch" Yeah I am pretty much floored, but thought well he is saying something else. The next day I get home from work, and ask the wife about it, she said "yeah he said that today it took me a mintue to figure out he was saying My fish" as in gold fish crackers.

Also he is already a little devil, he will fake being hurt, he will walk over to a pretty lady, and act like he is crying, saying "Finger, Finger" she then kisses it, and he laughs and runs away.

So you all with the daughters, good luck

Well my kids are too old to share stories of that nature...unless getting stupid drunk from too much tequila is a funny story.

My granddaughter; however, is a wealth of nice moments. She is currently seven and into the spelling thing. Whenever she gets mad at her mom, I'll ask her "what's wrong honey?" and she turns to me all grown-up like...hand on dipped hip, and points over to her mother..." duh...it's that M. O. M. !" spelling it out of course.

I hate to laugh, but I'm an ass that way.

My 3 year old son Haiden likes to pull down his pants and rub his naked butt on me then proceed to tell people he stinkied Daddy.

I got a 20month old son and his newest thing he loves to do is come get me at my pc chair and say "Up, Up" and grab my finger and drag me to whatever he wants. Everyday there is something new that he does. He has a great vocabulary for his age. (credit to his mother who is a teacher) He loves backyardagains for some reason...and his favorite character is pablo. Nothing like being a father.

I am in the same boat as you Rhuu. My daughter is 8 months old this month. Hoping our next is a boy. I don't really have any funny stories yet but I have to say, they sure do grow fast! I can't believe all the stuff she is learning every day it seems like.

I am such a great mom you know. While I so intent on reading why Luke is superior to Superman (for reasons that are beyond any logical explanation), I failed to notice my son walking up behind me.
He was looking at Otolith's avatar.....'um mom, are those supposed to be his legs?'

Keelin wrote:I am such a great mom you know. While I so intent on reading why Luke is superior to Superman (for reasons that are beyond any logical explanation), I failed to notice my son walking up behind me.
He was looking at Otolith's avatar.....'um mom, are those supposed to be his legs?'

And that would be our younger son, who is 10!

My 3 year old son Haiden likes to pull down his pants and rub his naked
butt on me then proceed to tell people he stinkied Daddy.

I managed to get through most of this post without laughing. Then I almost stinkied my pants. Thanks Ador

U have never been put in your place until your 2 year old nephew tells you, "Uncle Scott you is gettin' on my nerveses."

I was speechless.

or when my other nephew, when he was 4, quoted Toby Keith and told his mom, "How bout I break a boot off in your ass."

OR the bestest one...

My niece told her mom(same mom as Toby Keith), "I wanna see me gina(it's missing the va) on tv." great a little porn star in the family, just what we need.

I got a couple of good ones.

So we are riding in the car and my oldest son(12) is fishing for "how do big babies come out of somewhere so small" (yeah he is a typical 12yo) when my middle son(9) says "Duh....women have a bagina and it stretches really huge!" My wife was in shock, and I couldn't quit laughing.

and,

Yesterday I took my youngest son(4) fishing at this little creek by our house. We caught alot of catfish. When we got home he proceeds to tell my wife "My brothers are gonna be really pissed off when they see this crap". I have to learn to watch my mouth.

With 3 sons, and another on the way, I could tell these stories all night but 2 is enough for now.